Chapter 1 - 1 in 10 Billion

Most of the time my dad was happy. People looked to him for inspiration and he embraced the role. His ability to smile and laugh despite adversity was one of his finest qualities. People needed his smiles and he needed theirs. He also got sad sometimes. The Summer of 2011 was one of those times. Nonetheless, July 8 would mark the 50th anniversary of his accident and we were gonna party ... like Mormons! Good times with good friends, no booze required (or allowed.) The venue was his choice: a state funded long term care facility near his home in South Salt Lake called Wentworth. It was a place where he'd spent a lot of time.

One of the assignments Mormon men are expected to fulfill is home teaching. It goes like this: two priesthood holders from the ward team up and make monthly visits to three or four families. The visit includes opening and closing prayers, a religious message, and it ends with an offer: “Can we help you with anything?” The offer is generally regarded as a formality and for the most part is declined. My dad was used to breaking norms and he did his home teaching assignments solo. He visited 10-15 families more than once a month, and they weren't families at all. They were people. People without families. Black, brown, white, poor, sick, and mentally ill. Refugees. They spoke English, Spanish, Swahili and some not at all. They were happy to share their plights with my dad and they did not consider the offer of help a formality. He spent many hours listening and did his best to help. He painfully described their struggles to me, all the while seemingly unaware of his own. It pained him greatly when he couldn't help. On the surface, he was the least capable person for the job. But really, there was no one better. He could relate.

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The anniversary party was a smash! Great food, great stories, and a musical performance by one of his favorite people in the world. He felt the love that night and it gave him a much-needed mental boost. His spirits took a dip again the following day when he discovered that a forgotten gallon of milk had gone bad in the sweltering city heat and exploded in the back of his van. We did our best to clean it up, but the smell lingered for months.

I too felt the love that night and reminisced about better times. At the time of his accident in 1961, my dad was given a life expectancy of 10 years. I remember hearing that as a kid, but it never meant much. My dad had always beaten the odds and I expected him to live forever. It was no surprise to me he'd lasted 50, but it got me thinking about how rare his longevity might be.

The thought persisted over the next couple years, along with the sadness. My own spirits seemed to be dipping alongside my dad's. Our similar mental states led to us spending much time together. One day while he was napping in the back yard I started looking into the longest living quadriplegics. If he was supposed to live for 10 years and he'd made it 52, maybe there was a world record, or an appearance on Ellen or something that would give us another boost. I did some research then I did some math. It resulted in a youtube video with the following script:

This is my dad, Mark Christiansen. At the age of 16 he was playing catch at Pineview Reservoir near Ogden, Utah. He dove for a ball, hit the bottom and broke cervical vertebrae 3, 4 and 5. His spinal cord was severed and he was instantly paralyzed from the neck down. Doctors expected him to die quick so they waited. He didn't die so they operated and fused his spine. When he awoke they told him he would live for about 10 years then likely pass from complications. That was the reality for a quadriplegic in 1961. He is now in his 52nd year living with neck down paralysis. He hasn’t been able to walk, feed himself or wipe his own nose for 52 years. I was shocked to find only 9 other people besides my dad in all of history have survived over 50 years with quadriplegia. Approximately 100 billion people have lived on the earth. That makes my dad 1 in 10 billion. Neil Armstrong is 1 of 12 people to walk on the moon. Barack Obama is 1 of 43 presidents. LeBron James is 1 of 2000 to win an NBA title. Billy Demong is 1 of 6,000 to win Olympic gold. Steve Young is one of 7,000 to win a Super Bowl. Babe Ruth is 1 of 8,000 to win a World Series. My dad is 1 of 10 “50 year quads.” Living 50 years as a quadriplegic is more rare than winning a world sports title, becoming President, or walking on the moon.

Our friends loved the video and it made me feel good. It didn't seem to help my dad. I guess setting the world record for longest living quadriplegic isn't as great as it sounds. There was another issue with my idea. Dad never wanted to profit from his condition and he never asked for a handout. He was critical of those who did and he was proud. The idea of using his life story as a way to earn income was repulsive to him. He'd made it this far and he had no plan of changing his position.

The sadness continued and then came Katy. Wiley women convinced my dad to do many things along the way he normally would never consider. My new love found a way into his heart and everything changed. He agreed to let us launch a Kickstarter campaign to tell his life story.

For a month, the three of us worked together raising money toward our goal. It was hard. Mark wasn't the only proud one. It was a humbling experience. It was also profoundly motivational. Especially for my dad. The love he felt the night of his 50th anniversary party returned and compounded. Friends, family, friends of friends and strangers sent money, messages and loving support. It changed our lives. We raised over 25,000 dollars that month and with uplifted spirits we began.

Katy and Mark dove in immediately and spent hours talking and recording memories. Katy had the rare ability to make him feel comfortable and safe. He shared details and emotions with her that he has never shared with me. Spirits soared, healing commenced, and things were going great.

A month later Mark was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Leiomyosarcomaa. It's an aggressive form that attacks soft muscle tissue and organs. It started in his liver and by the time it was discovered it had spread. The doctors gave him six to nine months. The book was forgotten as Mark's focus shifted entirely to making the most of his remaining time.

He made a bucket list and I'm happy to report that we checked every box. Gambling in Wendover, a road trip to Yellowstone, paragliding, and a week on the beach in Mexico with all three of us kids and his first granddaughter, Millie J. Nine months after his diagnosis, and somehow fittingly, on September 11, he was gone.

I don't know if my dad holds the world record for the longest living quad. It meant little to him and it now means little to me. What matters is fulfilling the promise the three of us made to the kind people that reached out and helped us through a dark time years ago. Not a day has passed that I haven't thought about my dad and his book. It's the same for Katy. We have both spent many hours writing and transcribing the stories that my dad shared with Katy. There have been many false starts. It's been difficult to re-envision the project we first embarked on and that we weren't able to complete before his death. It's time to stop fretting and move forward. We decided to publish one chapter at time on this blog to help us do just that. We hope that those of you that are still interested will follow along and offer any feedback you may have. We also welcome you to share your stories about Mark. We sincerely apologize for the long delay. Forgive us if we fail to do justice to an amazing tale. Without further ado: Chapter 1.

Extras:

Here's a video I made of some of Mark's last good days. He got to spend a week on the beach with all three of his kids and his granddaughter Millie J. She always brought a smile to his face.

Another thing that Mark got to be there for was my wedding day. He thought I'd be a bachelor forever and so did I. It meant so much to both of us that he got to see me fall in love and marry the love of my life. We had an incredibly special ceremony in our backyard with our immediate family followed by a big barbecue & reception at Sugarhouse Park.

Mark's Obituary:

Published in Deseret News Sept. 13

Mark Christiansen - 1944-2014

Hooray for Mark! After living 70 years, 54 as a quadriplegic, he passed away peacefully in his home on September 11, 2014 surrounded by his children. He was born to Rolf and Irene Kleven Christiansen on July 18, 1944 in Salt Lake City and lived there his entire life. When Mark was 16, he was in a diving accident and was immediately paralyzed from the neck down. He miraculously survived and outlived his life expectancy by decades.

Despite being in a wheelchair, his life was full of outstanding accomplishments. He graduated from Granite High School and worked in many business capacities, including real estate and insurance. He also owned his own stock brokerage. Mark spent the last 24 years serving on the Board of Directors for the Utah Independent Living Center.

Mark's greatest joy came from his family. He married, and fathered three children: Nathan, Marni and Kara. They, along with his brother, Renn, created cherished memories from a life filled with adventure. He loved to travel, especially to Lake Powell and to see his loved ones in Norway. He loved sports and was an avid fan of the Utes and the Jazz. Despite his physical limitations he enjoyed adaptive snow skiing and paragliding; but most of all, loved to work out with his friends at Neuroworx.

Mark had a lifelong testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His life was filled with service to others and was a true example of unconditional love.

He is survived by his children, Nathan (Katy Demong), Marni Timmerman (Rob), Kara Jones (Brighton), three sisters and one brother, and his precious granddaughter, Millie J. Thank you to everyone who so selflessly served and loved our Dad. He dreamed of the day he would be reunited with his parents, running to meet them, swinging his little Mommy around in his arms. A viewing will be held Tuesday, September 16, 2014 from 6-8 p.m. at Garden Heights Ward, 2220 East Fisher Lane (2935 South) Salt Lake City. Funeral services will be held Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 11 a.m. at the same location. Prior to the service, the family will receive friends from 9:30-10:30 a.m. Internment will follow at Elysian Gardens. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to neuroworx.org or uilc.org in Mark's memory.

#1in10billion #quadriplegia