Chapter 7 - Good Times and Bad

As the months progressed, Jake and I discovered that we were not in love and were just good friends. How great for us to both feel the same. He knew that I had been dating Mark and could somehow tell I liked him. We broke up before he went back to the service.

Mark and I had our first date on November 23, 1968 at 7:13 p.m. It was just a month later, on December 20, that Mark threw a Christmas Party. He called and invited me and when he told me we'd be making sandwiches, I offered to bring some sardines. He thought that was a terrible idea because he hated sardines, but he did enjoy having something to tease me about. He loved to tease and it was fun for me, too. Mark had invited lots of family members and other couples to the party and I noticed throughout the night that he made a point of talking with every single person and making them feel right at home, like they were the most important person there.

When it was time to build a sandwich, he had me make him one with rye bread, lots of Miracle Whip, tuna fish, and Swiss cheese. He ate a lot that night because it was a special occasion.

We lined Sexy Rexy up with my friend, Connie. Rex flew helicopters and he had to deliver a Santa Claus that night by helicopter to another party, so he and Connie arrived quite late to Mark's house. Mark was obviously happy when Rex arrived. He was a favorite friend of Mark's. Rex could tell I liked Mark and that night he said, “I can't believe you two! Last time I saw you together, it was your first date, and now, here you are, acting like you're married.” He also told Connie that night that I acted more relaxed and natural with Mark than any girl he'd ever seen him with. I think Rex thought Mark and I would get married.

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Park City is quite close to Salt Lake City, so one day we drove up, taking a route through Emigration Canyon to Parley's Canyon. He loved to tease me about my poor driving, even though I am an excellent driver. There wasn't much snow in Park City yet that year, but we watched the skiers for a while. He told me how much he had loved skiing before his accident, and that he missed it so much that he often dreamt of skiing. H had been on the Junior Ski Patrol at Solitude Mountain.

We stopped for some lunch at a drive-in in Park City. He ordered a hamburger, some onion rings, and a banana malt. The onion rings were tricky to feed him because they were crumbly and he liked them with lots of Utah's famous fry sauce. When I tasted his malt, he told me that people who ate his food bugged him, that they should buy their own if they wanted some. Any time after that when I'd ask him if I could taste some of his food, he'd say “no” and then he'd offer me some.

Sometimes we just stayed in and enjoyed being with each other. I found it crazy that I could have more fun watching TV with Mark than doing anything else with anyone else. As time went on, I learned many things about Mark. He drank gallons of water. He would drink two tall Tupperware glasses of water at a time, (about a quart). He liked it right out of the tap at tepid temperatures. He said he could drink more if it wasn't cold. He told me that when he was still in the hospital after his accident, that a doctor chastised him for gaining weight, telling him that it was important for him to stay thin. He had gained some weight because he was no longer active and was still eating the same as before he broke his neck, plus everyone he knew was bringing him treats. He was determined to lose weight and got right down to a good point and never got much above that weight again.

Dave was one of Mark's friends and the coach of his old ward's junior basketball team, so one night we went to watch one of their games. I went into the Crystal Heights Ward gym to get Dave's help to bring Mark inside. Everyone there seemed to know Mark. Many people came up to talk to him. He introduced me to everyone (which proved he wasn't too embarrassed to be with me) and they all really checked me out. I think they were just wondering if I was good enough to be with “their” Mark. I could tell everyone loved him by the way they were so warm and concerned about him. I don't blame them at all, because he returned the warmth and was genuinely interested in how they were doing.

He seemed so happy and enthusiastic around people. I never heard him complain or saw him in a depressed mood. He was always smiling and joking. I was looking for a man that was really friendly and cared about others, someone who enjoyed being with other people. Mark was one of the friendliest guys I'd known, and I couldn't imagine anyone disliking him. I was amazed at his tact and his sincerity. That was another thing that I was looking for–kindness. Mark was a kind person. Dave's team lost their game that night and Mark became known as a jinx. Whenever he showed up, the team lost.

As the next few months went by, Mark and I went on lots of dates. Many of them included his family members and each one I met, I loved. They were all very accepting of having me around and I was included in many family activities. Renn was Mark's brother who he spent the most time with. They shared many ideas, interests, and opinions and got along with each other tremendously. Renn was married to Shiree and they had started a small family.

Mark liked me to tickle his neck, which I didn't mind doing, but I hated the phrase. It sounded weird to me. He also liked me to “kiss his ears.” We found we had a lot in common, including the music of Johnny Mathis and classical music. Mark and I liked to make out with each other, but our religion teaches that sex is a sacred function and should be saved for marriage. As we were dating, I never worried about Mark's ability to perform sexually. Latter-Day Saints also have in their belief a person who is called to give Patriarchal Blessings, typically received as a teenager and includes some guidance and blessings for the future. When I received my blessing, I was promised I would have a husband and family. I had faith that those things would happen to me, and I began to wonder if it would be with Mark.

Meanwhile, even though Mark seemed to like me a lot, he was not focused on marriage. I believe that somewhere along the line, after his accident, he decided that getting married would not be a part of his life, that it would be too much to ask of any woman. He hinted at those ideas here and there as we dated.

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Mark and Renn owned a boat and the first time I was invited to go along on a boating trip was on July 4, 1969. I was concerned because I had never been in a swimsuit with him and because I didn't have much experience water skiing. I had heard what a great water skier Mark had been. However, I was excited to be included and was looking forward to spending the day with him.

Renn, Mark, and I drove up the canyon in the light green Ford pick-up truck, pulling the boat behind us. There were several other cars coming up to Pineview at various times to meet up with us. It takes about an hour to get there from Salt Lake and we enjoyed our drive. We ate some fresh peas along the way and Mark liked chewing the pea pods, which I found interesting and unusual. When we got to the lake, Renn lifted Mark up into the boat and got him situated. Then the two of them drove off in the boat with the loud outboard motor blasting through the air, while the rest of us parked the boat trailer and drove another car around the lake to their favorite camping area. There were lots of boaters that day and we had to settle for a less than perfect narrow beach, down a sandy cliff. We hauled our gear down the cliff and pitched a tent. Others set up tables and put out food so anyone could eat whenever they were in the mood. Everything was so casual and carefree! I loved it.

Some of us tried skiing. Everyone was better than me, but I survived with a little ridicule from the boat riders. I must have looked extremely funny because I couldn't seem to control the big wooden water skis. I liked riding in the boat with Mark and feeling the wind blow back my hair in the hot summer air. The boat cut through the water and splashed up on either side of the boat and I liked sticking my hand in the spray. Renn and Mark would call out instructions after a water skier fell and we circled back to let them try again. We all watched as skier after skier glided along the lake. Mark was wearing a crazy blue captain's hat and an awful purple T-shirt, but he looked handsome in spite of them. Mark and Renn loved the skiers to cross back and forth across the wake and lean out as far as possible. It was obvious they were skilled at this sport and were very comfortable out on the lake.

Mark's sister, Barbara, and her husband, Dick and their children came up later and brought their canoe. It was our first meeting. Mark and I went on a canoe ride with Dick and Renn, and Mark, who loved to make up stories, took us through deepest, darkest Africa, and had us fighting off crocodiles and poisonous snakes. We saw some water lilies and cows, too, and almost had our canoe capsize. When the lake started getting rough, we packed up all the gear, hauled it back to the cars, got the boat on the trailer, and drove to the town of Huntsville, where Pineview is located. We stopped in the city park, which was an apparent tradition of the group, to have a picnic and eat up the remaining food.

The following day, I was invited to go boating again. Robbi Fox, Mark's eight-year old niece was the first to ski. Mark was so excited about her skiing. It was her maiden voyage and he kept saying things like, “Look! She's got perfect form!” “Watch her lean out!” “She's going to be a great little skier!” or “I like to watch that little gal ski!”

Another of their children, Dane was sitting on Mark's lap for a while. Mark loved little kids and he was great with them. Dane was watching Mark's hand and Mark said, “It doesn't work quite as good as yours, does it?” He gave Dane a kiss on the head and explained things to him and talked to him with the greatest patience and understanding. I had seen him with other children and knew he was like that with all of them and began thinking about what a good father he would be.

I just felt so happy and good inside that day that I gave Mark a big hug and quietly laughed to myself. He asked what I was chuckling about and I said, “Oh, I'm just enjoying life.” He smiled one of those neat smiles.

July was a horrible and wonderful month all in one. It was horrible because Bev, Mark's sister-in-law died of hepatitis. I had only just met her, but Mark loved her tremendously and her death was very hard on him. The great thing about the month was how many times I was with Mark. We were together 17 out of 31 days. I believe Mark was really starting to like me, but then at the end of the month, he told me we were not going to see each other so much and he was going to start dating other girls.

I decided to get Mark a trophy for his birthday that said, “World's Champion Kisser.” Unfortunately, we did not have a date, but he was coming to my house to pick up his sun glasses that he'd left in my car. His parents drove him over and I gave him his glasses and the trophy. When he read it, he laughed, then said, “You'd better not let my parents see that. So, of course, they both looked at it and laughed, so I don't think they thought it was too bad. He took it home and put it on the shelf in his bedroom.

Mark's dad gave me a big hug one night and said, “We sure appreciate you, Sharen. You're so good to Mark.”